As I write this blog post, I’m mad…really mad. I got a phone call from an adoptee. This isn’t an adoptee that I know, it’s a complete stranger who reached out to me, knowing that I had been running an online reunion registry for many years. Her issue? Her adoptive parents refuse to tell her one single thing about her birth family!
This young woman was very upset. It was clear that finding her birth family was important to her. It was something that she wanted very badly. Her voice was filled with emotion, and it was obvious that she was crying. If the importance of this was so very clear to me, an absolute stranger, how could the parents that raised her turn their backs on her and refuse to help or support her?
I’m sorry, people, but I don’t and never will understand this mindset. As a mother myself, I can’t imagine refusing to help one of my kids with something as important to them as finding her birthfamily was to this adoptee.
It’s bad enough that government conspires against adoptees in most states, and refuses to let them find out who they are and where they come from. Even something as basic and critical as family medical history is denied adoptees. I have personally known several adoptees who died because they were unaware of a medical history that put them at risk. This is unacceptable!
In my mind, the final insult is the refusal of some parents to support their sons and daughters in their desire to find their families of origin. Not every adoptee wants to search, but many adoptees feel that this is of importance in their lives, and when this is the case, it is vital for adoptive parents to support their sons and daughters through this process.
This is NOT a post including a lovely tapping script, because the main person who needs to tap right now is ME!
“Even though it infuriates me that this young woman’s parents refuse to support her in her search…”
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2 comments
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November 5, 2009 at 1:26 AM
Paige Crockett
You have every right to be mad. My adopted mom told me nothing growing up. It was a forbidden subject. When she passed I found a sister who lived only 45 min. away all those years. I am 60, she is 62 and we have found no others. We are from a big family but the birth-mom wants nothing to do with us. So, we are stuck in the Florida system never to find our siblings. It is like we are not worthy of knowing who and where we came from. Illegals have more rights than us. So what if the birthmom doesn’t care, has she thought her children might like to meet us. No, she will take the info to her grave. Thanks for listening.
November 5, 2009 at 3:34 PM
pateft
Thanks for your comments, Paige. It is way past time for this country to come out of the dark ages, where adoption is concerned, and to give adoptees back their rights, the same rights that everyone else has and takes for granted.