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Should adult adoptees have the right to their birth records when they reach adulthood? This is a question that ignites a lot of emotion for both adoptees and birth family members.

According to statistics from the American Adoption Congress (AAC), 95% of the adoptees that they surveyed expressed the desire to be found by their birth parents. An amazing 100% of birth parents wanted to be found, and 98% of adoptive parents supported reunions between their children and their birth families.

Avery’s 1996 research on the attitudes of adoptive parents in New York regarding access to identifying information found that 84% of the adoptive mothers and 73% of the adoptive fathers agreed or strongly agreed that an adult adoptee should be able to obtain identifying information on his or her birth parents.

With those statistics in mind you have to wonder who the government is protecting by keeping adoption records confidential, and keeping adult adoptees from finding out where they came from.

Over the 17 years that I’ve worked with adoptees, I have known quite a few who were sick, some very sick, so they petitioned the courts to get their records released, and lost. Why should anyone ever have to suffer just because their medical history is a secret to them that the government won’t release?

I had a dear adoptee friend a few years back that dropped dead of cardiac arrest while washing dishes in her kitchen sink. She had a birth family history of serious heart problems, but had no idea, and no history to pass along to her doctor. She had searched for years unsuccessfully.

When every side of the adoption triad agrees that the right thing to do is to open adoption records to adult adoptees, the government needs to get out of the dark ages, open their eyes to reality, ignore the protests of the attorneys and adoption agencies (the people making money on adoption) and open those records to adoptees at age 18.

Tapping Script: It Just Ain’t Fair!


Even though it makes me furious that the government doesn’t want to to find out where I came from and what my medical history is, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though I’m angry that the government has the power to keep me from finding out about my own past, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though I’m mad as hell at the government from keeping my own records sealed, and keeping my own past a secret from me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I choose to consider that maybe this will change some time soon.


  • All this anger
  • The government is keeping secrets
  • I’m so mad
  • That I can’t even find out where I came from
  • I’m furious
  • The government has no right
  • To keep the secrets of my own past
  • From me!
  • I’m so mad
  • The government sucks
  • They act like I’m still a child
  • Even though I’m an adult
  • I have the right to know
  • About my own past
  • And it makes me mad
  • That the government won’t tell me.
  • The government stinks
  • They won’t let me get my records
  • But I choose to consider
  • That this might change
  • Because I have a right
  • To know my medical history
  • We all have the right
  • To know where we came from.