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Fear of abandonment is a a very common issue for adoptees, as is anger over having been abandoned by their birthmother. After all, if their own biological mother didn’t care enough to stick around and be a part of their life, why should anyone else?

Sadly, many adoptees blame themselves on some deep level that even they don’t really understand. They think that there is something wrong with them, and that’s why the woman who gave birth to them didn’t keep and raise them. Although I’ve never heard of a single case in which this was true in nearly 20 years of working with adoptees and birth families, the feeling is widespread among adoptees.

Adoptees with a fear of abandonment often find it hard to build or sustain relationships with others. For some, they find it easier to hold other people back emotionally in order to avoid involvement, than to open up and let themselves be vulnerable. abandoned

When the very first important person in your life, the woman who carried and gave birth to you, runs off and leaves you, it becomes difficult to trust other people, and to believe that they won’t run off too. Why open yourself up to a potential world of hurt when you can just hide behind that emotional wall you’ve built and keep everyone out? Your history has proven to you that you can’t depend on others to be there for you. It’s not safe to let down that wall. As surely as you do, you’ll be hurt.

Having these kinds of trust and abandonment issues can get in the way of you living your life happily.  EFT can help, though.  Click on the “What The Heck is EFT?” link and find out more about what EFT is, how it works, and what the tapping points are.  Then give the script below a try!

Tapping Script For Fear of Abandonment

Setup: Karate chop:

  • Even though I feel like I can’t trust anyone in my life to stick around and be there for me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my birthmother abandoned me and now I’m afraid that everyone else will abandon me too, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’d rather keep people at a distance from me than to let them into my life and take a chance that they might hurt me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I’m considering that it might be time to work on those feelings.

Eyebrow: It’s hard for me to let people into my life
Outside eye: I’m so scared that they’ll abandon me
Under eye: It’s easier to just keep my walls up to protect myself
Under nose: Then to let down the walls and maybe get hurt
Chin: My own birthmother abandoned me
Collar bone: And I never understood why she’d do that
Under arm: I just know that I don’t want to get hurt again
Top of head: So I keep my walls up to keep people away.

Eyebrow: I don’t feel safe when I let myself be vulnerable
Outside eye: Because I don’t feel like I can really depend on anyone else
Under eye: But maybe it’s time to start letting go of that fear
Under nose: And to letting down those walls of mine
Chin: Starting to release my fear of abandonment
Collar bone: A little at a time, in a way that feels safe for me
Under arm: Starting to tear down those walls
Top of head: One brick at a time.

Eyebrow: I have people around me who do care about me
Outside eye: And I can open up my life and my heart to them
Under eye: Releasing my fears about trusting other people
Under nose: Continuing to pull down those protective walls
Chin: Letting go of more and more of that fear of abandonment
Collar bone: Finding the courage to open myself up
Under arm: And starting to feel more connected with the people in my life
Top of head: As I let go of the last of my fear of abandonment.

Visit my website here: Seeking Serenity.

Natalie Flowers is a birthmother who recently reconnected with her now grown son. The story below was in an email she sent me, and I asked Natalie if I could share it, because she expresses herself so beautifully. Not one letter has been changed.


At this moment I don’t have anybody to tell this to who would understand at 8:24 in the morning and is a birthmother.

Last night my son arrived, sans girlfriend, stood at the front door of a man whom I consider to be my dearest friend.

Since my son’s arrival there has been a many years gap where people who were around me didn’t know that he was actually missing in action in my life. By my choice, by his parents’ decisions, by timing that went awry, we just didn’t get to see one another very often. As much as I have talked about it to therapists and to my close friends, there was no way to describe the emptiness inside me, a space left carved out of my heart in the shape of Spencer, the beautiful being whom I bore.

This is the dinner party with professional gay men. Intelligent, kind, literate professionals with tendencies toward traditional family recipes, wine consumption, and world travel. Truly, only four of them have known that I was a singer, and it is hardly ever discussed. Mostly I go to be part of my friend George’s extended family, to listen to his latest discoveries in personal growth, to love on his dogs, and to bask in the luxurious social environment that he creates in his home to share with all of us.

So last night Spencer entered this space of tender travelers and met George for the first time. We ate some delicious home made food, and while sitting at a table I realized that the man across from me was someone who used to collect my music and promote it in his own small way to everyone he spoke to, and as he was talking to Spencer and to me, he asked Spencer “How do you know George?” And Spencer answered “Through her.” And he pointed to me.

Then the gentleman pried some more. It wasn’t painful, simply a need for more detail, so Spencer eventually said to him “She is my biological mom.”

This particular moment is something you dread, the uncomfortable surface of an old and now ancient memory of a moment so painful that it burns into your psyche like a sankara. No matter how many times you play it in your head you cannot imagine that it will be easy when the words slip out, or that the person receiving them will even grasp the scope of all that they represent.

Of course, this man never knew that I had a child. It explains a lot about my past behavior and why I have written so many songs about loss, the other side of midnight, and being devoured by insatiable longing for connectedness and trust in something greater than myself.

The next phase is then “Why, I can see the resemblance!” which, of course, makes me secretly beam.

In fact, I think I notice a beam between Spencer and me, there at the table, a beautiful light of love that saturates us, and all of the feelings of dread and inadequacy fall away for moments I never dreamed would happen.

As much as your rational adult side tells you that you will one day be with your child and have a decent relationship with him, the irrational side of you thinks nothing of dashing your hopes to the rocks, over and over, like waves in a mighty ocean.

I am sitting in a moment I knew would happen and I can see the brevity of every breath and every bit of beauty there is in it!

This must be the God people are talking about!

Spencer navigated well in the crowd of beautiful men. He is a tolerant, flexible spirit who is very convincing when he is sold on something. I am eating dip and watching him from afar. George starts telling stories about the adoption, how Spencer almost ended up with him instead of Rick and Cheryl, but how Byron, then his other half, wanted a life of passion and travel and didn’t have room for children. I remember, I was there when he said it. I also breathe a secret sigh of relief that my friend Byron didn’t raise my kid. I’m not sure he would have done any better than I. It is merely a game to put all of this in retrospect.

I KNEW I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have a job, or a home, or even the beginnings of a home (I was living with someone’s grandmother), my life was essentially full of all of the reasons why you do not insert a child into the fabric of society when you have nothing to offer because you are young and immature and have spent your life blaming others for your mistakes. I might have produced a person destined to become a psychotherapist. Instead, Rick and Cheryl allowed his expansion through loving him. However imperfect that situation seemed to me at the time, the developments in Spencer tell me that they did something absolutely right, and I must credit them here, as much as I used to think I would never do that. I know that I have wronged them in some way.

George would have made room for Spencer, but it wasn’t meant to be. It has been one of life’s greatest losses for me for my son not to have met the people whom I considered to be my family. I so wanted to share them with him, their wisdom, humor, and insight. How much compassion can you have poured into your life by a family of human beings? Mine has been like an endless pitcher of that very substance, over and over again I am reminded that I have been able to cope with all of my circumstances by the grace of something I cannot see or even talk about, and it arrives unexpectedly and offers me a home whenever I am in need, food when I am hungry, hugs when I need them, reality checks when I am not being real. This is what I received in exchange for giving my son up for adoption. I got a spiritual welding job.

As the party drew to a close, I got to sing for the group so now they really know what I do, and after Spencer left, George leaned into me and said “Natalie, I just LOVE him! He so reminds me of you, the greater half of you, he is so much like you!” I knew this would happen. I knew that they would get along and even perhaps know one another from before, because that’s just how it is. Some of us do. George has been reminding me of this for most of my life.

As I write this blog post, I’m mad…really mad. I got a phone call from an adoptee. This isn’t an adoptee that I know, it’s a complete stranger who reached out to me, knowing that I had been running an online reunion registry for many years. Her issue? Her adoptive parents refuse to tell her one single thing about her birth family!

This young woman was very upset. It was clear that finding her birth family was important to her. It was something that she wanted very badly. Her voice was filled with emotion, and it was obvious that she was crying. If the importance of this was so very clear to me, an absolute stranger, how could the parents that raised her turn their backs on her and refuse to help or support her?

I’m sorry, people, but I don’t and never will understand this mindset. As a mother myself, I can’t imagine refusing to help one of my kids with something as important to them as finding her birthfamily was to this adoptee.

It’s bad enough that government conspires against adoptees in most states, and refuses to let them find out who they are and where they come from. Even something as basic and critical as family medical history is denied adoptees. I have personally known several adoptees who died because they were unaware of a medical history that put them at risk. This is unacceptable!

In my mind, the final insult is the refusal of some parents to support their sons and daughters in their desire to find their families of origin. Not every adoptee wants to search, but many adoptees feel that this is of importance in their lives, and when this is the case, it is vital for adoptive parents to support their sons and daughters through this process.

This is NOT a post including a lovely tapping script, because the main person who needs to tap right now is ME!

“Even though it infuriates me that this young woman’s parents refuse to support her in her search…”

Back to EFT4adoption.

A truly thought provoking article by guest blogger and adoptee Jane Besmehn.

I was adopted at the age of 5 months old. That was in 1941. I was born in December of 1940. Back then many mothers went to birthing hospitals to have their babies and stayed with the baby for three months so that the baby could nurse and get a good start.

My mother didn’t positively decide to release me to an adoption agency until the last minute. It is my understanding that she agonized over the decision. I went to the adoption agency at the age of three months and then was adopted when I was five months old. By the age of five months, I had been moved three times.

I have eight kids of my own. Every one of those babies knew me at birth! There is no question in my mind that they knew me and would have been affected if I would not have kept them, even if they had been removed from me at birth.

My head understands how difficult it would have been for my birth mother to keep me. I intellectually understand the pressure she was under to give me up… away. I guess giving “up” a baby for adoption sounds better than “giving away.” I feel very strongly that she did love me and that she probably had limited options and resources and was also convinced that I would have a better life in a stable family.

My adoptive parents were good folks, educated, mature, owned their home. They weren’t my mother. They had an adopted son, he was eight years older than me, and they adopted another little girl three years after they adopted me. We were pretty much middle-class America.

I had little books of nursery rhymes. Three Little Kittens… picture for a minute a little girl, about three, sitting on the carpeted floor of a living room cutting the mittens out of the book and pasting them back with the kittens. There is another nursery rhyme called A Tisket A Tasket… I sat on the floor and cut the letters she wrote to her love out of the book and pasted them back in the green and yellow basket… no one thought it strange… just “cute.”

My second grade teacher wrote on my report card, “Jane seems to be hiding her light under a barrel.” How perceptive. No one else noticed.

One of my favorite books was Lassie Come Home and I read it probably about 20 times or more during my pre-teen and teen years. I always cried hard at the end when Lassie finally made the journey home and was reunited with her people. In fact, I’m still crying, now, as I type. I see the connection, why I read the book so many times, why I cried so hard, then, and now. I have spent my life trying to put things together that belong together. And today, I’m seeing how futile that has been, because all I ever really wanted was my mother.

Because of some archaic laws, I can’t even know her name.

None of the people in my story are villains, it’s a story without the bad guys. Everyone involved including my mother, my adoptive parents and the Children’s Home Society staff had good intentions and acted in what they truly believed to be my best interest. Maybe that is the danger in believing any one can really know what is in the best interest of another; but something needed to be done. I understand that; and outwardly, I did have a good childhood.

Inside, however, it’s a different story. I was odd. I never fit in. I felt displaced and still do. I never tried to excel in anything, just settled for a very mediocre life. It was too risky to risk, and besides, a very long time ago I made a vow that no one would ever get to know me or see me, who I really am. That decision partly came out of an ongoing conflict I had for most of my childhood with my adoptive mother. Nothing I was interested in was interesting to her, or even acceptable. I was a tomboy and she adopted a girl. I wanted to learn to play the guitar, she had me take accordion lessons because we already had one and my little sister was taking lessons. I wanted a horse. Of course, I couldn’t have one. She wanted me to go to college, I wanted away from school, period…! I was so uncomfortable in any social or academic setting where I had to interact with others. I only had one or two friends at a time. I didn’t keep any of them. I chose to be alone.

I was constantly having stomach problems (which I kept completely to myself… I did not believe it was safe to do anything to rock the boat and I got in trouble when I threw up.) I remember lying very still on my back while I fell asleep at night, afraid to move because if I did it felt like I would throw up. No one knew. Not their fault. I didn’t tell anyone. I did not trust. I still don’t trust. That is the story of my life to now. It has affected me in everything that I have attempted to do, hold a job, start a business, stay in a relationship, even hold on to friendships. I always sabotage relationships, or myself, and still do. It’s safer to live that way than to trust and risk hurt. I don’t even know how to trust and all my behavior is designed to protect me from ever having to feel the full pain of separation again.

Slowly the pieces are fitting together and the way I have lived my life is making some sense to me. From that place, I will be able to make some choices about how I will spend the rest of my life. EFT will help.

I’ve been working with adoptees for nearly 20 years now, and I thought I had heard pretty much every regret there was to hear from an adoptee, but yesterday I heard one I hadn’t heard before, and it caused me to feel a profound sadness.

An adoptee contacted me about scheduling an EFT session, and on my intake form she said that one of her biggest regrets was having been born. She was feeling abandoned by her birth family, but also apparently never really felt like she was a part of her adoptive family, so she was feeling totally isolated and alone, and wished she hadn’t been born.

By the end of our conversation this adoptee realized that she wasn’t feeling strong enough to face her demons, so no session was scheduled, but I was left feeling that I needed to reach out none the less.

I dedicate the tapping script below to the adoptees who feel totally alone in the world. Please know that you’re not.

Setup:

Even though I feel like I’m completely alone in the world and don’t belong anywhere, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Even though I feel so alone that I wish I’d never been born, and that’s a terrible way to feel, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Even though I feel isolated and alone, and my birth family didn’t want me, but I don’t feel like part of my adoptive family either, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I choose to consider that there are people in my life who love me and care about me.

Reminders:

Eyebrow: I feel so alone in the world
Side of eye: I don’t feel like I have a family
Under eye: My birth family didn’t want me
Under nose: But I don’t feel like a part of my adoptive family
Chin: I’m tired of feeling so alone in the world
Collar bone: I wish I’d never been born
Under arm: This is so painful for me
Top of head: And I’m tired of hurting and feeling alone.

Eyebrow: I don’t have a family
Side of eye: Or maybe I do
Under eye: I’m completely alone in the world
Under nose: Or maybe I’m not
Chin: I feel so isolated and alone
Collar bone: But maybe I need to find another way to look at that
Under arm: Maybe I have people around me
Top of head: Who genuinely care.

Eyebrow: Choosing to work on releasing the feeling of isolation
Side of eye: Letting that feeling drain right out of my body
Under eye: Choosing to recognize the people around me
Under nose: Who truly do care about me
Chin: Letting go of the feelings of loneliness and isolation
Collar bone: Letting those feelings flow
Under arm: And then letting them go
Top of head: Replacing them with an energy of peace and healing.

Back to EFT4adoption.

Over the last 20 years, many birthmoms have come out of the “birthmom closet” and talked about their pasts. Many have searched for the children that they lost to adoption, and many have reunited. These are women who have dealt with the past in one way or another and moved on.

Unfortunately, there are still many women who refuse to acknowledge what they went through, and who have kept it a secret all of their lives. For these women, the child they bore and gave up becomes THE secret.

Many of the women who worked so hard at keeping their secret have not even shared with their husband that they had a child that was relinquished. Nobody in their life knows what happened but them.

That is a huge secret to carry for such a long time, and the weight of it must be enormous. I can’t even imagine how it must feel to keep a secret like that from the entire world.

For this group of birthmothers, they live in fear of being found by the children that they gave up. They are terrified of a knock at the door or a phone call that will result in their secret being revealed.

How could you possibly explain to a husband of 25 or 30 years why you never shared the fact that you had a child before you married them? These women are scared to death that their marriages and family lives will be put on the line if their child shows up.

I worked with an adoptee who searched for her birthmother for years. She finally found her and made contact and was told that she could never have a relationship because her very existence was a deep, dark secret.

The situation was devastating to the adoptee, but it couldn’t have been easy for the birthmom either. She HAD to want to know her daughter, but didn’t dare let her into her life.

Historically, one of the biggest problems in adoption has been the secrecy. Sealed records make adoptees and birthmothers alike feel like there is something to hide, otherwise why would the records be sealed?

For so many years birthmoms were actually encouraged to keep their experience a secret. That may not be the case today, but there are still many thousands of birthmoms keeping their secrets, because they don’t know any other way to handle what happened to them.

I look forward to a time when most adoptions will be open, all parties concerned with be honest and forthright with each other, and respect will be accorded to all parties. The secrets of adoption need to be left behind.

Trust is a big issue in the lives of many people, but this is especially true for adoptees. Much of this lack of trust goes back to feelings of abandonment. In the words of Nancy Verrier, “It is difficult to face the fact that by definition every adopted child is an abandoned child, who has suffered a devastating loss. No matter that the adoptive parents call it relinquishment and the birth mother calls it surrender, the child experiences it as abandonment.”

Because this abandonment happens so early that there is not a conscious memory of it, many adoptees aren’t really even sure why they feel that way…they just know that they do. Keep in mind that although this memory may not be accessible to you, the adoptee, it is stored in your subconcious, and our subconscious has a lot to do with our normal day to day behavior.

You may not even realize that the memory is present until something happens in your life to trigger the subconcious, bringing that feeling to the forefront. Maybe as a child, your best friend deserts you to play with someone they like better. Maybe as a teen your first boyfriend tells you that he wants to break up. Any situation is which you feel that someone has abandoned you is going to trigger the feeling. Suddenly you find yourself intensely sad, or maybe intensely mad. You know this feeling….you’ve felt it before…you don’t like it. Unfortunately, there is no way to ‘turn it off’. The memory is a part of your past, whether you’re aware of it or not.

Some adoptees go through their entire lives without being able to trust the people in their lives. This is incredibly sad for all concerned. Sometimes the fear of being abandoned again is so intense that the adoptee would rather not get involved in a relationship than to take a chance on opening up to someone and then being abandoned…again.

The good news for anyone who is dealing with this issue is that EFT can help. Through EFT you can access the memory of abandonment, and you can tap your way through releasing those negative feelings. EFT can help you to get to a place in your life where you can trust others and open to relationships. Your life will be richer and fuller, and all because of a bit of tapping. Don’t take my word for it…try EFT yourself.

For far too many adoptees, the title above describes accurately how they feel. All the paperwork may have been done, the court appearances may have been made, and all the legal technicalities may have been worked out, but none of those things makes an adoptee feel that they are truly part of a family.

So many adoptees that I have worked with over the years have never truly felt that they are part of the family that adopted them. This is particularly true for adoptees whose families have had children of their own the old fashioned way.

Adults may not think that the things they say are noticed, but children have a way of hearing things at family gatherings like, “Oh, that’s their adopted daughter Mary”. Emphasis on adopted. They aren’t saying “That’s their daughter Mary”. Very different! That kind of thing tells a child immediately that there is something different about them. They may not have any idea what that difference is, but they know that they’re not quite the same as the rest of their family members.

Then there’s school to deal with. Neighbors talk. Their children hear. Those things they hear are then repeated at school. “Mary, I know that’s not your real mother! Your real mother didn’t want you and gave you away!”. Hearing something like that goes a long way toward improving that adoptee’s self esteem and confidence. How can you feel good about yourself if you think you’re a “throw-away kid”? And you know that your school mates think that too. Painful stuff there.

There are so many things that can contribute to an adoptee’s feeling of not fitting into their family that I couldn’t possibly talk about them all, but starting out with the feeling that you’ve been abandoned, as so many adoptees do, certainly doesn’t help. Sadly, this is not a topic likely to be discussed with parents, who might offer support. What child would say to their parents that they don’t feel like a part of the family? None that I know.

What I do know, however, is that adult adoptees who are still dealing with this issue can get relief through EFT. A few rounds of tapping can most likely turn around that feeling of not fitting in, and make you feel more comfortable with yourself and who you are. Turn that discomfort into a feeling of comfort and peace with EFT.

Example Setup Phrase:
Even though I’m so sad that Uncle XXX said things that made me feel like I wasn’t part of my own family, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I choose to consider that I might actually really be part of this family.

Back to No More Adoption Pain

Adoption search is a complex topic. There are so many things that can happen during or at the end of a search that it boggles the mind.

Adoptees in search of birth families seem to have the best track record. Since they have access to non-identifying information, they have an advantage over birth family members. Their adoptive parents may also have information, even identifying information, concerning their family of origin. All of this can be extremely helpful in a search.

At the end of an adoptee’s search, the situation can go in different ways. They can find a birthmother or other birthfamily member that welcomes them with open arms. This is the happy ending that most adoptees hope for. Unfortunately, adoptees can find that their birth family (usually their birthmother) wants nothing to do with them. This is most often due to the fact that the birthmom has never confided to anyone about the child that she gave up, and years down the road, after keeping the secret for decades, they are afraid to tell the truth. This is a sad situation, but is not uncommon. Adoptees can also find at the end of their search that their birthmother is deceased. There may still be siblings who welcome them, but not all birthmoms go on to have other children, or tell the children they have about “their secret”.

A birthmother searching is more complicated. Since they are usually not entitled to non-identifying information, they often have a lot less information to use when searching. Some states have birth indexes which help in searches, but access to a birth index depends on the state in which the child was born. Birthmoms often have to bite the bullet, and pay a professional searcher to find their child. The end of a birthmom search is more up in the air than an adoptee search. Birthmothers are rejected by adoptees far more often than adoptees are rejected by birthmoms. A complicating factor for birthmoms is that once they’ve found their child, the adoptive parents may feel threatened by them, and when this happens, it usually prevents any kind of a relationship from happening, sadly.

More and more often over the last few years, I’ve seen adoptive parents helping their kids to search. These kinds of searches have the best chance of a happy ending, since the searcher has the support of their parents in their search. I’ve seen a number of wonderful reunions that came about when adoptive parents helped their children to search. When everyone is involved, and adoptive family, birthfamily and adoptee all come together as an extended family, wonderful things happen.

The most important thing for any searcher to remember is that you never know what you’ll find at the end of your search, and you need to be as prepared as possible for any eventuality.

If you are currently searching, and are feeling stressed, why not try a little EFT to rid yourself of the stress?

Setup Statement:
Even though I am really scared about what I may find at the end of my search, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Reminder Phrases:
This fear, what will I find?, this fear, searching is scary, I choose to transform this fear, into an energy of healing, I choose to release negative feelings, and embrace positive feelings.

Back to No More Adoption Pain

Anger — we all feel it, but not many people find it acceptable. When we were children, most of us were encouraged not to show our anger, and we carried that habit over into adulthood. We get angry about all kinds of things, but we’ve learned over time how to “stuff those feelings down”. Maybe we smoke a cigarette, maybe we have a drink, or maybe we go around the block until we’ve walked it off, but we seldom let others see or know that we’re angry.

There is lots of anger in the adoption triad. We’ve got angry adoptees, angry birthmothers and angry adoptive parents. To each of us, our anger feel justified, and it may be.

Adoptees are often angry because they feel that they’ve been abandoned. In their minds, their birthmother saw them as an inconvenience, and it was far easier to let somebody else raise their child than to raise it themselves. Very seldom is this actually true, but lots of adoptees feel this way.

Other adoptees are angry that they have been, as they see it, victimized by the adoption community. The decision about where and how they would live their lives was made by others, and even as adults they’re not allowed to know about their families of origin. This is an anger that I feel is well justified, and I’d like to think that at some point the system will be reformed so that adult adoptees can always find out where they came from. Everyone deserves that right.

Birthmothers have their share of anger. Many are angry at their families and “the system” for forcing them to relinquish children that they didn’t want to give up. That anger is intensified by the fact that birthmoms are not expected to or encouraged to express grief over the loss of their child, but are instead told to “forget it and move on”.

Birthmothers have virtually no rights when it comes to getting non-identifying information so that they can find their children. That makes it mighty hard for a birthmom to search and find. This is still another reason (again, justified) for anger on the part of birthmoms.

Adoptive parents feel that they have plenty to be angry about, too. Many get angry at their children if they decide to search for their birthfamily. They feel betrayed, theatened, or just plain jealous, and therefore they are angry. Some are also angry at birth family members who have found their children. These parents harbor the feeling that once relinquishment papers are signed, a birth parent has given up any right to ever know the child.

So much anger, for so many reasons… Anger is usually an uncomfortable thing to deal with, and we end up with guilt on top of that anger. EFT is the most effective method that I’ve ever found for dealing with anger. Once you zero in on an incident that made you angry, and tap through 2 or 3 rounds, the anger is often totally gone, and you are left with a feeling of peace and calmness that is far more pleasant than anger.

Why not give EFT a try for your anger? Five minutes of tapping might just give you the relief that you’ve been hoping for.

Back to No More Adoption Pain